Day 3

Reminiscing today. It’s all about where I’ve been. All the memories i’ve made in my life, and the people i’ve shared them with. 

Most of my immediate family is here in town for my graduation. Both sets of grandparents, a few aunts and uncles, and family friends that have all influenced me a lot over the past 17 years of my life. I began to think…where was I 4 years ago? A little freshman anxious to start high school, and excited about all the new things I would do. I would be like my sister but better! I missed her and had to deal with the first time ever being apart from her. It was hard, because i think she’s probably shaped me as a person more than anyone else (well other than my parents). I began to think about how much i’ve changed from a freshman until now. I used to care so much more about school back then! I still did terribly but I cared a lot more. I also cared more about what others thought of me. Like my father. He constantly yelled, screamed, and put me down whenever my grades would come. Thinking it would provide me with some form or encouragement….NOT. My relationship with my father has totally change in 4 years. We’ve grown even further apart and honestly he’s the one thing I can’t fucking wait to leave when I go to OU in 3 months and a week. Then when I think of leaving him I know i’ll also have to leave my mom which I’m dreading. Although we have our differences I do love my mom. She’s my confidant, defendant, everything. She’s basically made me the person that I am today. 

I hope that going to college won’t change me too much….but I can’t say where i’m gonna be when I turn 25

xoxo kaitlyn :)

Day 2. 

I still can’t even believe I’m here. Got back from graduation rehearsal and it’s all falling together. I remember my sister’s graduation. There were so many tears, so much sadness, so much excitement! She was the first one out. The first one to leave home and start her new life. Now as I get ready to go to college I keep wondering. 

Am I really ready?

I mean is anyone truly ready to leave the nest? Or are we like the birds. Our parents push us out when they think we’re ready and we pray to god we fly so we don’t lie splattered on the ground. We so quickly go from being coddled, bottled fed, and cared for. To being thrown to the real world and wondering….well shit how did I get here?!

Like my mom says, it’s all been a journey. For the past 12 years i’ve been working to get to this point. Counting sown the days, months, and years until I would finally leave. On those nights when my dad used to yell and scream over my grades and I’d tell myself, only a little while longer. Now i’m here and I just…I don’t know how I’m going to do it. My sister already proved she was able to fly. 

I hope i’m not the bird splattered on the sidewalk

xoxo kaitlyn :)

This is the first post in my 4 part series in the 4 days up until my graduation day. I have 4 more days of being a student at Princeton High School. 4 more days of being considered a Senior of Princeton High School. 4 more days until I can officially be called an alumni. I don’t know about anyone else but I’m scared out of my mind! 

I really can’t believe that in 4 short days it’s gonna be all over. There’s so much going on! Talking to new potential friends and roommates, scheduling orientations, scrambling to get chords for graduation and going to our last senior events. Everything will be different. in just 4 days….

It’s going to happen? It’ll be summer and we’ll be working, going to college functions, orientations, shopping for stuff for our dorm rooms…..I’ve been waiting for 4 years for this to happen. Now that it’s here I feel like I have to admit

I’m scared about the future.

xoxo Kaitlyn :)

I may be the only one, but do any of you remember back when you were younger and it’d be storming outside, or you’d have a nightmare, or you’d just be feeling lonely and you’d go to your parents room and crawl into bed between them and literally every care you could ever have melted away the very second you got into bed? 

As I near my graduation i keep reaching for those moments. I’ve been sick for the past couple days with bronchitis and I always want my mom to rub my back like when I was younger, or i’d just go chill in her room and watch home shopping like we used to. Everything I do seems to be sentimental and the creeping feeling of these moments are dwindling stays in my head.

Maybe it’s that I’m not ready to move on yet and be on my own. My dad keeps reminded my sister that once she graduates and gets a job she’s completely on her own and they’re no longer going to help her. I think that as that time draws closer for me I keep looking for the moments I used to blow off as a kid. I never wanted to be babied when I was younger I wanted to be a “big girl” and now that I’ve gotten to that point i’m like Hey wait a minute growing up sucks! Everything seems to be getting pushed onto my and my friends. Where to go to college, finding a major, paying for college. There’s so few moments left for us to just be young and stupid and have no worries. 

Like I said, maybe it’s just me, but I’d rather be 7 than 17 and get to be a kid a little while longer

xoxo kaitlyn :)

Remember those intense crushes that you had? Those people who you used to think about 24/7 and wished would come talk to you? Well today’s blog post is about them. The people who you know you’ll never be with but still hold a permanent place in you heart for reasoning we’ll never know. 

Soooo…..I have friends who’ve liked the same people for almost 5 years. Can’t explain why, don’t have good reasons they just do. Now, they know that this other person is never gonna like them back, yet they can’t kick the habit they have of liking them. So my question to them is always why? What’s it about this person that makes your knees go so weak and your heart skip a beat? (didja see my rhyme there?) Now being the person who doesn’t normally like a guy for more than 5 minutes (yet i’ve had the same boyfriend for almost 3 years :P) I never understand how it happens. How they know completely and full out that the relationship will never go anywhere yet they still continue to pine after the person. And they even have other people who are going after them, and they even date other people yet in the back of their minds they’re always thinking about someone else. 

Now what about that? How bad is it when you’re talking to someone, flirting, and even going so far as to date them while still having intense feelings for someone else? Have you become that person whom you hate for leading you to believe that they like you when they really don’t? At what point does the scorned, unrequited lover become the one doing the scorning?

Now let’s flip the switch once again. Maybe you’re the one that someone just can’t seem to get over. I have a teensy bit of experience in this department, and I can say that you can’t help who you like and who you don’t like. However, I’ve also seen my friends lead others on and just not care. The difference is knowing and how you handle the situation. Who knows, you could think you’re just being nice, but someone else thinks you’re singing the tune of true love. 

Dunno, guess it’s up to you. Thoughts?

xoxo kaitlyn :)

Hello, my name is Kaitlyn and I’m hella different races. My boyfriend is Indian, I’ve liked black guys, white guys, asian guys, and a few others. There now that we’ve gotten past the race issue…..

Okay correct me if i’m wrong but it’s 2012 right? So why is it that race is still an issue? Recently I got into a discussion with one of my guy friends about the types of girls he’d date. Of course he is white, and he said he couldn’t see himself with anyone other than a white girl. Now my first response was umm ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! I carried this talk with me all day and asked a few of my other guy friends what they thought and found that it was a common theme amongst them. A (white) guy I was talking to at one point told me point blank he’d never dated or liked any girl that wasn’t white and I was super confused. Why does the race even matter?! So many people claim they’re colorblind now that might be true for voting and equality, but keep equality out of the bedroom they only want the same race. It just baffles me, one of my black guy friends even told me his mom said multiple times that she’d be “disappointed” if he brought home anything other than a nice black girl. 

Now as for that I guess i’m biased. My family is the epitome of mixing races, my parents have told me time and time again they don’t care who I bring home as long as they don’t beat me and are educated. That said I’ll have to introduce them to my grandparents sooo they better be some shade other than white. So i guess our generation, as liberal as we’d like to believe we are, we’re still stuck in the dark ages when it comes to dating. As for me….I’m gonna focus on graduating high school then finding love when I have time. 

xoxo Kaitlyn :)

So currently looking for my phone…hence the title. Has nothing to do with anything this blog post will later talk about but i just felt i should say i lost my phone in my bed…sad? yes. 

okay i found it we can now move on.

So today’s blog post is about age. Most of my friends are so quick to say they’d never ever date a younger guy, yet they’d easily date an older guy. Now i can understand guys are super immature at times and of course girls mature faster than guys, no idea why but hey what can ya do, but why so quick to judge just based on age? Not gonna lie there are some pretty cute junior guys at my school that i’ve considered, but then the age thing always gets in the way. Now don’t get me wrong yea i know there are some pretty immature younger guys, but that shouldn’t rule out a great guy. My best friend is dating a junior guy and she’s completely and totally happy and into him and whatnot so i mean it can happen…idk thoughts?

xoxo kaitlyn :)

Okay this post is for the guys again :) So i’ve never regarded myself as all too attractive. I mean i wouldn’t say i look….ugly…I’d say i have my good days and bad days like every other girl. So when i get guys it’s shocking to me, however now i don’t even care bout the guys i get because they all come with PROBLEMS!!!! 3 b’s in this case or 3main points: Brocode, Baby, Big distance between us.

First B- The BroCode

Now for all my followers who don’t watch How I Met You Mother go to Google and look up the BroCode….I’ll wait.
Done? Okay

So one of the main tenants of the BroCode is a bro can’t date a bro’s ex girlfriend. Girls I know we have a bit of a rule about this too, but REALLY?! Is it not the stupidest thing?! Unless your friend has explicit feelings spelled out for this person and the person you’re schemin on wants them back then okay don’t go for it, but if one person is just pinning over something that’s not gonna happen!? You have total rights to make a move on them! Because now you’re just being a cockblock for a potentially happy relationship! So i guess what i’m saying is the BroCode is stupid and the GirlCode is dumb too! Ladies if you love your friends then let them be happy, honestly you’ll get over whomever it is! I’ve seen guys i like date my friends and yea it stings at the beginning. You feel so ugly and heart broken and you wish that they’d see how perfect you could be together, but really?! it’s high school chill.

Second B- Baby

Okay this one is gonna make me go on a MAJOR rant. So as a girl, I’m sorry but i like for my boyfriends to act like…well….MEN! I don’t like to be the guy in the relationship, it’s just annoying and not my forte. So when a guy talks to me and does stuff that makes me feel more manly then him….hmmm…..nonono hunny. Like having a FRIEND TEXT ME to tell me he’s CRYING because I didn’t give him a fucking HUG! Like ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!! Get over yourself!! it’s so ridiculous like wow if you want a hug then walk up to me and get a fucking hug! don’t lurk the shit out of my locker and then get all sad when i don’t see you then have your friend text me to say you’re upset, like ummm no not my problema! Like i’m sorry but crying over a hug you could’ve gotten had you just come up to me!? nonono hunny!

Third B- Big distance between us

So as a debater i meet hella people from all over ohio, and we all get connected on facebook or through text and talk and share evidence, bits about our lives, etc. Soooo, and i’m not proud of this, i’ve had a few crushes on debate boys who live kinda….well….on the other side of the state from me. Most of them end in heartbreak :( but i always pick myself up and get over it. But now theres the sweetest guy ever who of course! lives 4 hours away :( so it’s like ummm hai….why?!?!?! :( 

Soo obviously i’m not meant for a boyfriend because all the guys i like have SOME PROBLEM!! and guys think it’s the girl’s fault :P

xoxo Kaitlyn :) 

SO READY FOR GRADUATION!!!!! I know i’ve said that a few times, but this time I mean it! My sister told me that eventually i’d start getting sick of all the childish bullshit that happens in high school and i thought oh no i love my friends i’ll never get tired of them, but being with the same people for the past 6 years has taught me so much about people in general and has shown me i need a change of scenery. Honestly i’ve gotten to the point where so many people are showing their true colors, or being fake just to get through the next 4 months with a few friends and once we get out of high school it’s over. Yet i’m also discovering so much more about myself. What I want out of the people I’m around, and what i want out of myself.
but then again my nerves get the best of me. somedays i think yea i’m ready let’s get out let’s go, but then when i sit and think about it, leaving my mom, all my friends, everything i’ve known for the past 10 years to go somewhere and know noone….it’s worrisome. idk how to even approach it…. idk thoughts?

xoxo kaitlyn :) 

Okay so today i had a bit of a come to jesus moment. (yea i know crazy right). So i’ve been totally making realizations about so many of my friends. For like 80% of the people i know right now in high school, this is it like we won’t be talking after we graduate and go off to colleges. So i don’t really get why i’m stressin about friends, or guys, or anything because once we go to college all that stuff is pretty much out the window. I guess it makes me a bit sad to think about, like this is really it and this is really happening…We’re honestly about to graduate and all the shit we stressed about the last 4 years about prom dates, and getting boyfriends, and all that just doesn’t matter. Eh maybe i’m the only one but some people i don’t wanna stop talking to. even if we’re only friends because we see each other at school they’re still such great people i’m not sure if i just wanna let them all go, but i am really ready to move on with my life and get to college and just have a new chapter. i’m really just trying to be stress free and chill now :) we shall see how it goes. Bed time!

xoxo Kaitlyn :)

Howdy everyone! this is a gender neutral post so i hope everyone will be able to relate. Since i know i normally write with a bias towards girls (as hard as i try not to, but i’m sorry i’m a teenage girl!) today’s post is for everyone! :)

Soo you guys know how you get your really close friends right? like the ones you love hanging out with and always have fun with. Then once they get a boyfriend or girlfriend it’s like poof! never see them anymore. Yepp see told you it was gender neutral because i’ve had this happen with my guy and girl friends. Now i’ve been in a super long committed relationship so I know it’s very possible to keep your friends and you significant other happy, which is probably why i get so irked when my friends blow me off for their boyfriends/girlfriends. It’s like okay really? we’re in high school like have fun with your friends you have forever to be super serious and all up under a guy/girl. Idk so relationships are super fun and great til someone loses a friend :( How much longer til i get to start over in college?

xoxo kaitlyn :(